A tale of two saints

Satiricus was in awe. He could not believe that such men still walked on earth. Satiricus was talking about Ram Jhaat Tan and the Naga Man. Who else? The finance minister had talked for three hours about the budget. Thousands of items were mentioned, but these two noble souls honed right into the most important one: forcing the people in Linden to pay the same rate for electricity as the rest of Guyana! Oh! That cruel, heartless Ashanee and PPPEE! How could they? Only Ram Jhaat Tan and The Naga Man could see the injustice of it. Such elevated souls.

“Elevated souls, me arse!” exclaimed Cappo. “Deh only trying to mek trouble. Is politics deh playing.” He and Satiricus were the only ones in the dive, each sipping a beer.

“But those people are so far in the interior. Is tough, you know. They need a break,” commiserated Satiricus.

“Bai, is tough all around. Wha you think dem people in Lethem a pay? Dem deh mo far,” said Cappo flatly. “Ah catching me tail in de cane field and ah still gat fo pay me full light bill.”

“Aha! And that is why Ram Jhaat Tan and the Naga Man, are saints!” exclaimed Satiricus. “Even though they are from Berbice, they criticised Ashanee for giving you all in sugar Gy$ 4 billion! Only saints would look out for strangers even when their own is in need.” Satiricus discreetly wiped a tear from his cheek.

“Ah wha wrang wid yuh?” Cappo was rough. “Me a cut cane, but like you brain get soft! KFC lose dem vote in Linben and deh trying to buy am back.”

“But why sugar got Gy$ 4 billion?” countered Satiricus. His eyes teared up again. “Only Ram Jhaat Tan and the Naga Man could see the iniquity of it.” Satiricus sniffed a couple of times.

“Whe de ‘iniquity’ bin when Burnham and den de PPP tek Gy$ 500 billion in today money in de sugar levy?” Cappo asked. “If dem bin spend all dat money, sugar na would a deh in trouble today.” He slammed the table in disgust. “And dose two Neemahharam Ram Jhaat Tan and de Naga Man know dat!”

“But you real unfair to those two saints. They only criticise the sugar subsidy, because it hurt them to see how those people in Linben now got to pay full light bill.” Satiricus decided to try another tack with Cappo. “Those Lindeners used to get free electricity for years, you know. They don’t know how to pay light bills.”

“Really? And how much dem a pay now?” Cappo wanted to know.

“A quarter of what you pay,” Satiricus informed him. “It is going to be a shock, you know. And Only Ram Jhaat Tan and the Naga man feel for them.” The tears were rolling freely down Satiricus’ cheeks now.

“So all dem years, was me sugar levy bin a pay dem light bill?” said Cappo unbelievingly. “And you think dem two crooks na play politics?”

“But it’s the Gy$ 4 billion sugar is getting and the KFC still criticise it that makes me admire them,” Satiricus replied stubbornly.

“Me think you bin a school too much. De government cyan leh sugar fall. Sugar a bring in foreign currency so abee can pay fo foreign thing all abee like!” Cappo. “And de KFC know dat! Deh just playing politics!”

Satiricus gave up. The tears were flowing too fast now.